Harry Potter: I'm a wizard, I'm gay, get used to it
by Noodle the Albino Python
Summary: Year 1. Flamboyant openly gay Harry. Harry arrives at Hogwarts and he is nothing like anyone expected. He prefers painting his nails to playing Quidditch and takes every opportunity to flirt with Draco Malfoy. Contains: Dumbledore bashing, Caring McGonagall and Hagrid. Not a jerk Draco. OC House Elf named Jelly.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, All rights belong to J. K. Rowling.**

**AN: So this a Flamboyant Gay Harry, The story will follow HP series plot with a Flamboyant Harry spin on it and my own spin on is fic is the first instalment/ book one of the HP before I get reviews saying but Harry is eleven in the philosopher's stone how does he know if he is gay? This a parody, this is not supposed to be taken seriously.**

**Chapter one: Harry's words of wisdom and a trip to the zoo.**

Harry Potter sat in his bedroom, the cupboard under the stairs, painting his fingernails. Nearly being eleven, made the cupboard quite the squeeze to sit in. He'd asked to move into his cousin's second bedroom more times than he'd applied lip gloss, and that was a lot.

Harry had almost finished doing his nails when his aunt shouted "Boy! Get up now!""I'm already up and would appreciate it if you didn't shout, you know I get awful headaches," Harry told his aunt glaring through the door, "Also where is my pink scarf, it isn't in my cupboard.

What have you done with it!?""I haven't done anything with it. Now get out here and cook breakfast and don't you dare burn it! I want everything perfect for Dudley's birthday," Petunia hissed through the door.

Harry let out a silent "Oh My God," he had totally forgotten about the mini whale's birthday.

Well, if it was Dudley birthday, the least he do could was dress fabulous for the chose his favourite T-shirt, it was a hybrid shirt made from pieces of his cousin's and his aunt's old shirt's. Which had oddly turned out brilliantly once he'd sewn it all together, jean shorts and the belt that took two weeks for him to glam' up, got dressed and made his way to the kitchen.

"Couldn't you at least try to dress like a normal boy instead of a fairy," Vernon Dursley grumbled the moment his nephew walked into the kitchen.

Harry rolled his eyes and replied: "You say the sweetest things to me Uncle Vernon, what would I do without you."

Harry cooked breakfast without burning anything or getting anything on his clothes. Dudley was half way through his breakfast when Harry decided to give him his present, Harry's words of wisdom."Dudley, now you're eleven I think it's time I gave you the talk. Now, as you get older all the boys are going to whisper sweet nothings in your ear to get you into bed, but don't let those brutes sweet talk you into anything."

"Petunia, take Dudley to open his presents. Boy! You stay here," Vernon said, his face red. Harry watched his aunt and cousin walk away, while his uncle glared at him.

"You listen here, my son is not fairy and I will not have you imply that he, is. Now I reluctantly accept that you're fairy freak, but my son isn't," Vernon said, his voice harsh and quiet.

"I hate to tell you this, but if Dudley likes boys it will not be down to me. I don't care whether he does, so let's ask him!" Harry suggested, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Vernon Dursley was stopped from saying anything by the phone ringing and his wife's hurried footsteps to answer it.

Petunia walked and, glaring at Harry, barked: "Boy! Go pick up the wrapping paper from Dudley's present," Harry winked at his aunt Petunia, "I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone, I just got a really bad mental image of you two. Yucky!"

Harry entered the living room to find Dudley sulking and wrapping paper strewn across the floor. Dudley's presents were scattered around the room, laying there abandoned already by his cousin.

"Why so glum sweetie? Is it because you tried thinking again? Because I have told you time and time again that it'll give you a headache," Harry said to his glaring cousin. Glares from the Dursley family no longer affected Harry in the slightest. They'd been shooting glares at him for as long as could remember.

"I have' less presents than last year," Dudley whined. Harry rolled his eyes, he'd never received a present in his life; everything that he had, was made from the Dursleys old things, his nail polish and lip gloss were gifts that his aunt Petunia had gotten, then thrown in the bin. He always waited until the Dursleys were engrossed in watching television, then sneaked off to take them out of the bin.

"That is like the saddest thing I ever heard. I might start crying any minute," Harry said, sarcasm lacing his every word. Dudley looked puzzled and scratched his head."But you're smiling!" he cried, utterly confused.

Harry was about to explain the concept of sarcasm to his cousin, when his aunt and uncle walked in looking like the greatest tragedy had just befallen first Harry was genuinely worried that something bad had happened, until his aunt revealed that he'd have to go to the zoo with them because Mrs. Figg couldn't look after him.

Harry's heart did a flip until he realised that meant he'd be stuck with the Dursleys all day, and Dudley's friend, Piers Pollkiss. Piers looked like a scrawny rat that had been stung by a wasp, he was a member Dudley's gang.

The whole gang were idiots, but Dudley and Piers were the stupidest of the lot. Piers liked to tease Harry about everything, most of all that he'd grown his black hair down to his shoulders. His aunt cut his hair all the time, but, oddly, the next day it had always grown back the way it was before it was cut. Harry didn't know why or how his hair grew back, but he had the feeling his aunt did know.

Piers often commented on the odd shape of the scar on Harry's forehead, in the shape of a lightning bolt. Harry had tried countless times to remember how he'd gotten it, but all he could remember was a flash of green light. Harry sort of liked his scar, because it was a connection to his parents, it was something he had before he'd been dumped on the Dursleys.

Piers' mother dropped him off thirty minutes late, and Harry enjoyed watching his aunt Petunia struggle to smile sweetly, when inside he knew she was clearly fighting the urge to lecture the woman on being on time.

"All right Dudley? Hey! It's the little scar fairy," came Piers' usual greeting the moment he was out of his mother's earshot.

"Each time I see you, I swear your intelligence decreases by the second," Harry replied, smiling sweetly and winked at Piers because he knew it would make him uncomfortable.

"Boys, we have got to go we're running behind as it," Petunia called from the door step as soon as Mrs. Pollkiss was they were all walking to the car Harry heard Piers tell his aunt Petunia she looked wonderful, and Harry let out a snort of amusement.

His aunt Petunia looked like she had gotten dressed in a dark room, her fashion sense was appalling, and her constant frowning made her look like a cold faced fish. Her personality wasn't much better.

Harry was stuck, seated in between Dudley and Piers in the car, he couldn't help himself, and said: "In between two guys, I'm living the dream honeys." If looks could kill, the look his uncle gave him would've had him dropping down dead right there.

Harry decided that he should keep his mouth closed for a while, which worked okay for a while until his Uncle Vernon started going on about motorbikes and he brought it up that he'd dreamt about a flying motorbike.

While Dudley and Piers sniggered at Harry, his Uncle Vernon shouted: "MOTORBIKES DO NOT FLY!"Both Dudley and Piers seemed taken back by Vernon's reaction, but Harry was used to his aunt or uncle freaking out over the slightest thing that seemed unnatural. "Alright, it was only a dream. There is no need to get your panties in a twist. I also had one about four guys with six packs to die for, and when I was rudely awoken, I didn't throw a hissy fit about it. Which I should have because those guys were gorgeous," Harry said.

"Boy, shut it!," Vernon raised his eyebrow and was about to give a lecture on a thing called manners, but then remembered that trying to teach manners to a Dursley, was like trying to teach a goldfish algebra.

So he sat down and went with his earlier plan of keeping his mouth zipped. He didn't say anything when they got to the zoo and Dudley started whinging before they'd even gone in. He didn't say anything when he saw Dudley and Piers winding up the animals in the different enclosures even though he wanted to tell the two morons to "Stop already!" In fact he didn't say anything until his aunt handed him a cheap lemon ice lolly, that she'd been forced to buy because she and Vernon hadn't been able to hurry him away from the ice cream van quick enough after buying Piers and Dudley large chocolate ice creams.

The woman at the van kept throwing them funny looks, so they brought him the cheapest thing said: "Thank-you," and he began to think maybe the day wouldn't be that bad. Later he would curse himself for thinking such a thing.

Everything went fine during lunch, the Dursleys even forked out for lunch for Harry as well, which was a first. Every time Harry had been allowed to go out with the Dursleys as a family, they'd always managed to avoid having to buy him anything. His Uncle didn't even make fuss at him when the waitress who brought the food over commented negatively on Harry's nails.

It all went wrong when they went to look at snakes. Dudley and Piers were beginning to get restless and bored by that point, which for Harry always meant pain and suffering.

Dudley went around thumping on the glass of the tanks and the snakes didn't budge, not even a little, so he did what he always did; went moaning to his dad.

Harry wandered off, over to a tank containing a boa constrictor. He was staring at the snake, when it did the oddest thing. It winked at him."I understand why you didn't move, I wouldn't if some brute went bashing on where I was living. Oh, wait a minute they do," Harry laughed bitterly, the snake gave him a sympathetic look.

"Where does such a beautiful creature like you come from?," Harry asked quietly, he didn't want to draw attention to himself.

The Snake looked at a sign saying Brazil, "I've learnt about Brazil in school, do you miss living there?."The snake pointed to a sign saying bred in captivity."So you've never been there, that's sad, it's where you're supposed to be."The snake nodded agreement, but then both he and Harry jumped out of their skin, startled by Piers shouting: "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING".

Dudley rushed over as quickly as his chubby legs could go, he waddled and it reminded Harry of ducks: "Move it Nancy boy," Dudley said, shoving Harry to the floor. Harry didn't know how it happened, but one minute Piers and Dudley were pressing their noses against the glass and the next the glass had vanished. And the snake was loose, and Harry could've sworn it hissed: "Thanksss, ssee you around sssome time."Harry watched the snake slither away, as Piers and Dudley wailed, while his aunt Petunia screamed hysterically.

His uncle Vernon had gone pale, the man who liked to play the big man was silent in adrenaline seemed to snap people out their daze of missing glass and a snake being loose, fuelling them towards the exits. Harry followed, not out of fear, but that hopefully nobody would suspect it was his fault.

Harry didn't know how it was working, only that it was, and it seemed his plan to blend in with crowd worked until he got to the Dursleys car and Piers opened his big mouth."Harry was talking to the snake, weren't you Harry?" Piers said slyly, Harry knew he'd said it knowing it'd get him into trouble.

Harry knew right then and there, by the look on his uncle Vernon's face, he was in a world of trouble.

The car journey was ridden in silence, and even when Piers was dropped off nobody said a word. Harry spent the whole journey planning what he wanted to be buried in, he was going to make it his last request before Vernon killed him.

The moment they got into the house Uncle Vernon exploded "Cupboard, go now!" Vernon barely got the words out he was so angry.

Harry was smart enough not to argue, he knew that he'd be spending a lot of time in the cupboard in the upcoming weeks and meals would be a rare treat.

As he lay in the cupboard he couldn't help, but wish things were different for him. He'd given up hoping for things to be different, or for someone to take him away from all of it, but he wasn't ready to let go of wishing that someone, anyone, would take him to this amazing new world.

As he nuzzled his head into a teddy unicorn, he let his mind drift to a new world far away from the Dursleys.

AN: If anyone is interested in betaing this please PM me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Thank you for to my wonderful reviewers, to those who have favorited and are following this story.**

**Thank you to my Beta.**

**Also I know this chapter is very canon but I promise future chapters won't as much.**

**It just this chapter is very important for future chapters. **

**Chapter two: Letters and Aunt Petunia is delusional.**

Harry was not wrong about him spending a lot time in the cupboard. By the time he was allowed out of the cupboard to the rest of the house it was the summer Harry was happy that school was over, but not so ecstatic about being stuck with Dudley's gang all summer. Because all they did was hassle him, he wouldn't have minded if one of them were attractive, but none of Dudley's friends were attractive in any way.

They were not only unattractive on the outside, but on the inside too,and very stupid. That was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, hunting for bargain materials to make more clothes, and feeling giddy about the feeling of hope for September.

In September he'd begin secondary school and the brilliant thing was that he wouldn't be attending the same school as Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. And Fortunately, Harry was going to Stonewall High, the local public school.

Harry had seen some of the boys that went there and they were hot with a capital H, but Dudley thought it was very funny that Harry was going to a public school.

"They put new people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry, "Want to come upstairs and practice?"

"No, thanks," said Harry, "That poor toilet's never had anything as horribly repulsive as your head down it, it might get sick or die from something you give it ."Then Harry ran, before Dudley thought about what he'd said and figured out that he'd been insulted.

One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to get his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. She'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she wasn't quite as fond of them as she once was.

She let Harry watch television, he got to watch a documentary on penguins and she gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted very stale, but Harry ate it anyway because he didn't want to seem rude.

That evening, Dudley paraded around the room in his brand-new uniform. Smelting boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. The outfit was as hideous as it was hilarious. Harry would rather run around naked than put that outfit on. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. Harry made a comment about how kinky that hitting people with sticks was and was glared at by his Aunt and Uncle.

As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her little Dudeykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry burst out laughing. "He looks like he was just eaten by a whale then spat out!" Harry said, clutching his sides because it hurt to laugh so hard.

"Boy!" Vernon growled at his nephew who couldn't stop howling with laughter.

"Whenever I get sad I will always picture Dudley wearing that hideous outfit," Harry declared once he'd gotten himself under control. Petunia shot Harry look that indicated she wanted nothing more than to slap him, "There is nothing wrong with Dudley's outfit."

"Are you on drugs or are you just delusional?" Harry asked, "Not only is that outfit a crime against fashion, it is a crime against all clothing. It should be cut into pieces, burnt, and its ashes destroyed by acid."

"Go to your cupboard!" Petunia and Vernon ordered at the same time.

"I will, but before I go I just want to say that I think Dudley's been punished enough having been born a spitting image of his dad. Why inflict more suffering on him by making him wear that outfit?" Harry asked cheekily. Harry ducked and just about missed a glass thrown by his aunt Petunia.

A disgusting smell filled the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in to make breakfast. At first Harry thought it was because Dudley had farted, but then he noticed only his Aunt Petunia was the kitchen. She was standing over a metal tub that she had laid on top of the sink.

He went over and as he was walking over, he peered into the tub. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.

"Um, what are you doing?" Harry asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"I'm dying Dudley's old things for you. It's going to be your new uniform," Petunia answered, her features cold like they always were whenever she spoke to Harry.

"I am going to explain this in terms that even Dudley could understand, I am not wearing that in a million years!" Harry exclaimed, shocked, "I can deal with the lack of food, love and the fact that I sleep in a cupboard, but I will never will learn to deal with hideous clothing".

"You're wearing it, so get used to it!" Petunia told him."If I acquire magic powers, I'm turning you into a frog," Harry muttered under his breath.

Dudley and Uncle Vernon walked into the kitchen, both wrinkling their noses at the smell. Uncle Vernon read the newspaper, commenting on something every so often; mostly to complain about something and Dudley banged his Smelting stick on the table. Dudley now took the stick everywhere with him. That included the bathroom and Harry was very worried about the germs he was spreading all over the table with the stick.

They heard the mail get shoved through the letter box and land on the floor."Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.

"Make the fairy get it," Dudley whined."Get the mail, Boy!" Vernon ordered.

"Dudley needs the exercise make him get it."

"Boy, get it before I lose my temper!"Harry glared at his uncle before going to get the mail, three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, whom Harry wished would get devoured by piranhas , a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and a letter for Harry.

Harry picked it up and stared at it, he could feel his heart beating fast and for some reason he felt both nervous and excited. Never in his life had he received a letter, he had no friends or any family other than the Dursleys, who he reluctantly classed as family.

**Mr. H. Potter**

**The Cupboard under the Stairs**

**4 Privet DriveLittle Whinging, Surrey.**

The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald green ink. There was no stamp. Harry turned over the envelope and saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H.

It was the weirdest envelope he'd ever saw seen and yet, the most beautiful."Get in here, boy!" hollered Uncle Vernon from the kitchen, "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" he chuckled at his own joke.

Harry walked into the kitchen and handed the post card and the bill to his uncle Vernon, but he regretted not hiding his letter in the hall and tried to shove it in his pocket. But Dudley with his hawk-like eyes saw what Harry was doing.

"Oi dad, Harry's got something," Dudley said, trying to prize the letter out of Harry's hand. "It's mine, now go away you big brute," Harry squealed, desperately trying to keep hold of the letter.

"Who the hell would want to write to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, rippingthe letter from the struggling grasp of the two boys and opened it the letter. Now Harry had seen his uncle angry, scared and horrified, but he'd never seen this look on his uncle's face before. The only way he could describe it was a combination of pure terror and disgust.

"P-P-Petunia!" he stuttered, looking like a turkey that knew it was almost Christmas time. Aunt Petunia took it and read the first line. The way she looked made Harry think she might faint.

"Vernon! Oh my goodness -Vernon!"They stared at each other, both with terror in their eyes and forgetting that Harry and Dudley were there.

"Would either of you like to share why you've got your panties in a twist?" Harry asked, "It is my letter so I'd like to know within the next century what it says".

"Both of you get out the kitchen," Vernon ordered, his voice was an odd sort of quiet.

"No, it's my letter I want to read and I'm not shifting until I have!" Harry said, defiantly. It was the first thing anyone had ever sent him and he wasn't giving it up without a fight.

"I want to read it too, let me read it," Dudley demanded, stamping his feet and glaring at his dad.

"Both of you get out, now!" Vernon said, forcing both boys through the kitchen door before slamming it shut. Harry and Dudley fought over who should get to listen at the keyhole,inevitably, Dudley won and pushed Harry on the ground. Not wanting to lose gracefully, Harry bit Dudley on the ankle. Dudley let out a yelp and shook Harry loose from his ankle, before returning to listen at the keyhole.

Harry was left on the floor, but he found he could hear and see more from the bottom of the door than he would from the keyhole.

"Vernon, they know he sleeps in a cupboard. How can they know that?" Petunia asked, her voice shaking and foot tapping on the floor, something she did when she was nervous.

"Clearly they've been spying on us. God knows what they've seen Petunia," Vernon said.

"What should we do?" Petunia asked, terrified about how much they might have seen. Harry could see his uncle Vernon feet as he paced up and down the kitchen. "We do nothing. We don't reply, we just ignore it all and then they'll give up," Vernon told his wife,who looked unsure.

"But what if they don't, what if they come here-"

"Petunia, when we took him in we both swore that we'd stamp that rubbish out of him. Let them come, we took him in after they dumped him on us. If they wanted him so much they should have stuck him with one of their lot," Vernon said, his tone making it clear it was the end of the discussion.

********* **Line Break***************

When Vernon returned from work that evening he visited Harry in his cupboard, he'd never done that before and it led Harry to believe that there was something in the letter his aunt and uncle didn't want him to know about."What have you done to my letter?" Harry asked, the moment his uncle's head popped through the door, "It's illegal to tamper with someone's mail you know".

"I burnt the letter, it is unimportant," Vernon said, "So I don't want to hear any more on the matter".

"It was not unimportant, whoever wrote that letter put my cupboard as the address so I think they really want to talk to me," Harry said angrily, "but for some reason you don't want them to".

"Will you shut up about that letter!" Vernon shouted, taking a few seconds to force a smile on his face. "Petunia and I, have we've been talking and we think you're getting too big for this cupboard, so we've decided to allow you to move into Dudley's second bedroom".

"I think I'll stay in the cupboard," Harry said smirking, "because I think you're only allowing me this because you're scared about the letter, am I right?"

"Listen here! you're moving into that bedroom and you'll be grateful," Vernon snapped, "Now gather your junk and take it upstairs."Harry glared at his uncle before Vernon slammed the cupboard door shut.

Harry wasn't stupid, he knew he was only getting to sleep in that bedroom because his aunt and uncle were afraid. Not once, even when he was really sick, had they let him sleep in the bedroom, even though they had four bedrooms. Two were only being used constantly, the other two was a room that they use for visitors, which was only ever Aunt Marge and she rarely stayed there.

Which Harry was thankful for. The second one was just full of Dudley's broken toys and books that Dudley had never took only one trip for Harry to get his things upstairs.

From his new bedroom, Harry could hear Dudley throwing a tantrum that any diva would've been proud of. As he stretched out on the bed, he had to admit that his Aunt Petunia had done the room up rather well, and that yesterday he would have been ecstatic at finally having a bedroom.

But now he'd rather be crammed up in the cupboard, he'd throw away all his make-up just to get to read that letter.

***********Line break************

The next morning Dudley's tantrum continued and Harry was a little impressed at the lengths Dudley would go to when he wasn't getting his own way. He'd smashed things, screamed, made himself sick and what he did to that poor turtle was just ghastly.

Harry wished he was able to travel back in time to yesterday morning, and tell himself to hide the letter in the hall. His aunt and uncle kept looking at him then looking at one another.

When the mail arrived his uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before, he made Dudley go get it. Harry pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Dudley waddled out the kitchen, glaring at everyone as he left. It took seconds for him to shout "There's another one!

'Mr. H. Potter,

The Smallest Bedroom,

4 Privet Drive-'"

Harry had never seen his uncle leap out of his seat so quickly, or run for that matter. Harry was right behind him trying to the letter first, but he didn't and it turned into a weird sort of tumble; Vernon wrestling to get the letter out of Dudley's hands, Dudley holding' onto it with all his might and Harry on Vernon's back with his arms around his neck.

After a lot of hitting with a smelting stick by Dudley and slapping by Harry, Vernon was the victor and had the letter.

"Boy! Go to your cupboard - I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry, "Dudley - go - just go."

*************Line break*************

Harry paced up and down his new room, he'd torn his favourite shirt and he still hadn't got the letter. But the good news was whoever was sending the letters knew hadn't got the first one.

Which meant they'd know he hadn't gotten the second and by sending the second one it meant they really wanted to talk to Harry.

So that it meant they'd send a third and Harry had a plan to make sure he got that letter.

Harry set the alarm clock he'd repaired for six o'clock in the morning. When it went off Harry switched it off quickly and dressed hurriedly, for once not caring about fashion. But, oddly still looking as fabulous as ever, he crept across the landing and stairs, praying he wouldn't wake the Dursleys.

He was going to sneak out and wait on the corner for the postman and get the letter was going great until he got to the bottom of the stairs and stood on something squishy and at the same time the lights clicked on upstairs Harry let out squeal.

Harry saw and angry uncle Vernon in asleeping bag, obviously a step ahead of Harry.

"Oh thank goodness it's you uncle Vernon! I thought that man from over the road had come to visit aunt Petunia again. Mind due you he is yummy I can totally see what she sees in him, but not what he sees in her," Harry said, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Why would the man across the street be sneaking into my home at six in the morning?" Vernon asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Harry.

"So he and aunt Petunia could get it on. He visits her while you're at work," Harry whispered. He was lying, no man ever visited while he Vernon was at work, but he thought if engineered an argument between his aunt and uncle he could sneak out."PETUNIA!"

Petunia came shuffling down the stairs wearing a hideous a bright yellow dressing gown."What is it?" Petunia asked, before yawning.

"Why is the man across the street visiting you while I'm at work?" Vernon asked, "The fairy here says he comes into my house".

"I never said such a thing!" Harry cried in fake outrage. "I came downstairs to fetch a glass of water to find you waiting at the front door babbling about the man from across the street. Don't blame me because you don't trust your wife. Honestly! If I were you Aunt Petunia,I'd really lay into him for doubting you."

Harry snuck away to the kitchen as the pair began to squabble to find the kitchen back door locked. He tried the windows and they were locked too. Seeing as his plan to sneak out was a no go, he decided he'd go and break up his aunt's and uncle's argument.

Harry whistled loudly to gain both of their attention, "I lied to both you because I wanted to see how strong your marriage was. It is really weak and suggest you start divorce proceeding immediately! Uncle Vernon you can keep the house and Dudley. Aunt Petunia I've no idea what's going to happen to you and I shall leave right this second, heartbroken at the collapse of your marriage,"Harry let out small fake sobs as tried to make his way to the front door.

Harry just about missed his uncle trying to hit him round the head, ashis aunt sent him to the kitchen to make tea.

When he returned he found them in the living room and Vernon had the letter. He tore it up in front of Harry's eyes quicker than Harry could say "six-pack."Vernon stayed home and nailed up the letter box, he assured Petunia that'd be the last of the letters. But neither she nor Harry believed it.

They were right, the next day twelve letters arrived for Harry. Because they couldn't get through the mail slot, the letters were shoved under the door, through the crack of the door and some even through the bathroom window.

Vernon stayed home again and burnt all the letters before Harry had a chance to get his hands on nailed boards on all the windows and doors, it was lucky Petunia had just done a big had a big shopping trip, because it looked as if they were going to be stuck inside for a long time. But It made no difference however.

On Saturday, twenty-four letters adressed to Harry found their way into the were rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window.

The only window after much begging from Petunia was left not boarded up. Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor as Vernon made phone calls to complain.

"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement."I don't know, but this really fun," Harry told his cousin in between blowing on his wet nails.

On Sunday morning, Vernon sat down at breakfast celebrating that there wasn't any post on Sunday. His celebration was premature though,because out of nowhere letters began shooting out of the fireplace, and as the Dursleys tried to duck, Harry tried to grab one."Out! OUT!"Uncle Vernon seized a kicking and screaming Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall. When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door they all could still hear the letters coming through.

"That is it!" Vernon said trying to act calm, but the fact that he was pulling bits of moustache out gave away he was closer to losing the plot than calmness, "You all have five minutes to pack, we're going away!".He looked so deranged by that point that even Harry didn't dare argue with him.

Ten minutes later after getting passed the boarded up doors, they were in the car and speeding up the street. Dudley cried silently in the back seat, because his dad had hit him round the head for holding them up, by wanting to take his TV with them. Now, Harry didn't like his cousin, but he didn't think he deserved to have a hand raised to him.

They drove and drove. Not stopping for food, drink or a bathroom break. By nightfall Dudley began to howl, never in his life had he gone without television or food for so long.

Eventually Vernon stopped outside a B&B that Harry was pretty sure was haunted. It looked like a building out of Scooby Doo.

Dudley and he shared twin beds, while Dudley snored loudly, Harry stayed awake all night. For breakfast there was soggy, stale cornflakes and cold tomatoes on toast. Harry ate every bit, but Dudley turned his nose up at it.

He'd just finished when a woman came up to them " 'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr..H. Potter? Only I got about a hundred of these at the front desk."

She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:

Mr. H. Potter

Room 17 Railview

Hotel Coke worth

Harry tried to grab the letter, but Vernon knocked his hand out the way."I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.

Hours later Petunia suggested that maybe it was time they went home, but Vernon didn't hear her. It was like he was in some sort of daze, searching for something. What he was looking for none of them was sure of, Harry wasn't even certain that his uncle knew. He kept stopping at weird places, looked around then shook his head.

It was when they stopped at the coast Dudley said, "Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"

Vernon had left them in the car and wandered away, where Harry didn't know.

"Well, it was only matter time before he lost it," Harry said, "I'm just amazed it's taken this long."

"Boy shut it," Petunia hissed.

"I'm sensing some hostility here. Which is a bit mean seeing as tomorrow is my birthday" Harry said, "Don't worry about giving me a present, your gift of a coat hanger and a pair socks was so awesome that I could not accept anything this year."

"Do you want me to come back there to silence you?" Petunia replied, glaring at Harry.

"No, do you want to have a singsong?" Harry asked, cheekily.

"Dad's coming back!" Dudley cried, looking out the window.

Harry looked out the window to see his uncle Vernon waddling towards the car and he was smiling and carrying a long thin package."Everybody out of the car! I've found the perfect place," Vernon said excitedly.

It was very cold outside the car and it had begun to rain. Vernon pointed to a large rock and a tiny shack."This kind man is going to lend us his boat!" Vernon said, he seemed really happy.

A man who looked suspicious in Harry's opinion pointed to a little row boat in the water."I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"

"I'm not getting in that thing, nor I am am I going out to the middle of nowhere. It looks as if it a location for a horror film," Harry told uncle.

"You have ten seconds to get in the boat!" Vernon ordered.

"Fine, but when we get hacked to death by some dude who's supposed to have died years ago but came back from the dead,do not blame me!" Harry said, "My outfit is going to get ruined in this weather."

It seem to take forever to get to the shack; everybody was cold and wet. The inside was as horrible as the outside, it smelt strongly of seaweed and fish. It was also very cold because of the cracks in the walls let the wind through. The shack had two rooms and a fireplace.

Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. Which Harry didn't get any of. He tried starting a fire, but the empty chip bags just smoked and shrivelled up.

Vernon was cheerful and looked relaxed, because he thought no one could get letters there. Harry thought that too and wanted nothing more than to scream at losing whoever wrote to him.

The moment night fell a stormedraged outside. The high waves kept hitting the shack and Harry was worried about how much it could really take.

Petunia found two blankets that barely qualified as blankets; theywere mouldy and tattered. The nicer blanket went to Dudley who was sleeping on the moth-eaten sofa, while Harry was given the tiniest,most ripped blanket to sleep on the floor with.

The later it got, the worse the storm got. The only good thing about the storm was that the thunder drowned out Dudley's snoring.

Harry checked Dudley's watch, ten minutes he'd be eleven years old. He laid back wondering where in the world the letter writer was right that minute and did they know he'd be eleven in less than ten minutes.

Five minutes to go. There was a creak outside. Four minutes to go. If the house was full of letters when they went home maybe he could sneak one out. Where they ever going home? Two minutes to go There is was a crunch noise outside and Harry was certain that someone is wastrying to break in and kill them all.

One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds... twenty ... ten... nine - maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him, and also, he was little scaredThree... two... one...BOOM.

The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, and was outside, knocking to come in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A massive thank you to my readers and reviewers.**

**And to those who are following and have favorited.**

**A massive thank you to my beta who is a great help and who improves this story greatly.**

**AN: Things are going to become a lot less Canon and have more my spin on it. And yes I have tweaked Hagrid's and McGonagall's personalities slightly for two reasons: 1 it fits the story and 2 their unwavering support on everything Dumbledore did just irritated the hell out of me.**

**Chapter Three: Bye-Bye Dursleys and Hello Hagrid.**

Harry would never be able to explain why he got up and opened the door; maybe it was because hoped it really was a mad man who was going to axe them all to death, just so he wouldn't be stuck with the Dursleys a second longer. But maybe, and more likely, it was because he hoped it was the letter writer coming to take him to the magical land he often dreamt about.

When Harry opened the door, he was rooted to the spot with shock, as before him there stood a giant with a long, bushy brown beard and warm black eyes peering out at Harry."Who are you?" Harry whispered, not wanting to wake a snoring Dudley."

"Who are you?" Harry whispered again softly, as, all though he was a bit frightened by the appearance of this giant, he was reluctant to wake the Dursleys when they were sleeping and he didn't have to hear their irritating voice.

As if sensing Harry didn't want his cousin or the rest of the Dursleys family woken, the giant bent down to Harry's level and whispered, (well it was slightly above a whisper) "I'm Hagrid, I've been sent to give you your letter." Hagrid's accent was very thick, so it didn't come out quite as clear as that.

Harry looking behind him to make sure the Dursleys were still asleep,stepped outside, still a bit frightened of the giant, but much more curious about the letter.

He felt he would be tempting fate, however, to receive the letter in the shack. Hagrid handed Harry his letter, but suddenly he felt a bit hesitatn, he didn't want to read the letter; he wanted answers from a human being and not a piece of paper.

"Look I don't want to be rude. But I'm standing out here in the pouring rain with a man who was sent to deliver me a letter" Harry said, trying to keep his voice low. "I think the letter is obviously important or you wouldn't be standing here, but why is it important?"

"It's your Hogwarts letter. Every student has to receive their Hogwarts letter!" the giant, or Hagrid, as he said his name was said, beaming brightly, not seeming to notice the rain soaking Harry to the bone and making Hagrid's beard drip.

"Um, I don't mean to sound stupid but what is Hogwarts?" Harry asked, his eyebrow raised, thoroughly confused, and half-convinced this is a dream.

"Harry, what do you know about your parents?" Hagrid asked, his eyes gaining a look of resigned acceptance. He and Professor McGonagall had often wondered what Petunia would tell her nephew as he got older. The things they'd heard from Lily made it clear Petunia wasn't a fan of magic.

"They died in a car crash. My dad was probably drunk and that's why they crashed, " Harry answered, seeing Hagrid's expression change from gentle to enraged in took of his long coat and placed it around Harry's shoulders, "You wait here, I will be right back! I just need to talk to the Dursleys. But when I get back I will tell you a few things you should have known years ago".

As Harry watched Hagrid stomp into the shack his expression half-murderous, he couldn't help but trust him. He didn't know why, it was just something deep down that told him too.

He could hear angry voices and squeals from Dudley coming from inside; Harry didn't move to check what was going. He usually loved knowing everything, but right that second he didn't care. He was glad of Hagrid's coat, he was wet but the coat was warming him up.

Harry heard the door creak open, he saw his aunt and uncle as Hagrid closed the door; they looked terrified.

"Right little one, you have two choices: I can give you your Hogwarts letter and leave, or you can come with me and I'll explain everything to you. It's your choice!" Hagrid said. It was the first time anyone had offered Harry a choice and he loved it.

"Let's see! Stay with the people who hate me or go with a stranger who has told me very little about himself," Harry said, smiling, "I'm going to go with the complete stranger."

Hagrid refused to let Harry walk across the rocks and carried him down them; he also refused to take his coat back. When they got down all the rocks Harry saw a bigger boat next to the Dursleys row boat.

Hagrid helped Harry into the boat, it was warm and the rain was repelled from it. It confused Harry how it was possible do such a thing. Harry wanted to ask what seemed like a million questions as the boat went fast across the water, but luckily Hagrid began speaking and answered a majority of his questions before Harry asked them.

"First of, your parents never died in a car crash, your father was not a drunk. The second thing is going to be difficult for you to believe, but it's true. You're a wizard, your mum was a witch and your dad was a wizard; Hogwarts is a school for witches and wizards. Your aunt and uncle should have told you all of this!" Hagrid said, his face falling into a frown again as he considered the Dursleys and trying his best to make sure Harry knew he was telling the truth.

"If I'm a wizard, why is it that I've never turned the Dursleys into frogs or pigs?" Harry asked, not quite believing Hagrid, "Because I am pretty sure if could do magic I'd have done that by now!"

"Magic doesn't work like that, but tell me this, have you ever done things that you can't explain how you did it?," Hagrid asked, looking like he already knew the answer.

The first thing that entered Harry's mind was the incident at the zoo, "Well, we went to the zoo for Dudley's birthday and I made the glass tank of a snake tank vanish. And the snake spoke to me!"Hagrid looked momentarily shockedat Harry's answer, but quickly concealed, making Harry wonder if he really did see it or if it was just a trick of the light."Speaking to snakes is a rare gift even for wizards, but I wouldn't go advertising that gift if I were you" Hagrid warned.

"Why?""I'll explain everything, but right now the boat has stopped and we have a long way to go before we can get to Hogwarts" Hagrid told Harry.

"We're going to Hogwarts, why?" Harry asked, excited. If Hogwarts were real, then him being a wizard was real.

"Because I'm a grounds keeper there, I probably should have mentioned that already. And I am not letting you go back to the Dursleys, I've just got to find a way to get Dumbledore to let you stay with me," Hagrid explained, helping Harry out of the boat.

"Do you think he'll let me!?" Harry asked, "I'll be good I swear. I'll cook and I don't take up much space, I'll sleep wherever, even a cupboard again and I won't wear make-up if it upsets you!"

"You wearing make-up doesn't bother me and what do you mean you'd sleep in a cupboard again?" Hagrid asked, he was carrying Harry again because apparently it was a long way away to the nearest Floo network. Harry had no idea what a Floo network was and honestly at the moment he didn't care.

"Um, I slept in the cupboard under the stairs until the first letter came!" Harry said, not daring to look in Hagrid's eyes; for some reason he felt bad telling on the fell asleep listening to all the things Hagrid wanted to do to the Dursleys, and would if he thought he could get away with.

**********Line break************

When Harry woke he noticed two things: one, they were no longer outside, they were in a house and he was in a chair and two, he could see from the window it was almost light outside. He sat up and stretched his arms, hearing them crack with satisfaction.

Looking around, he realised he couldn't see Hagrid in the room. The room wasn't much to look at, pale cream coloured walls, two chairs and a sofa.

Harry stretched out his legs and shifted Hagrid's jacket off, then stood up and began to walk across the bare floorboards. It was then he remembered that he'd left his shoes behind with the Dursleys. The hallway was just as bland and bare as the living room, more so because there was nothing filling it what so heard raised voices coming from the kitchen.

One voice belonged to Hagrid and the other was female, with a Scottish accent. The kitchen door was closed so he couldn't see what the woman looked like.

He placed his ear to the door to hear more."Dumbledore isn't happy that you took him out of the Dursleys care and he was worried that you didn't contact him after you had."

"Look I wasn't about to leave him with those people. We never should have left him there and you know it too, I was going to bring him to Hogwarts once he woke up, it's just that you turned up before he woke up!" Hagrid mumbled.

Harry tapped his foot, displeased. Once again people were discussing him without giving him any opportunity to tell them what he thought; well he wasn't going to put up with it.

Harry stormed into the kitchen, he looked rather comical with his long hair a mess from sleep and the angry look on his face. "I hate to act as if I'm ungrateful, but I was promised answers last night and I still haven't gotten a majority of them. I wake up in a strange house to find the person who I only met last night having a loud discussion with a woman who just has tell me where she got the dress from. Because that shade of green is just fabulous!"

"Harry this is Professor McGonagall" Hagrid told Harry. Professor McGonagall looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and sadness.

Every day since Dumbledore had convinced her that he needed to staywith the Dursley she'd want to go back and check him, but Dumbledore had forbidden any contact with the boy until he was ready for Hogwarts.

"Well, that answers one question, but what I really want to know is how my parents died and which genius thought leaving me with the Dursleys was a good idea?" Harry asked,noticing an exchange of glances between the two, as if both were silently asking who was better able to answer.

Professor McGonagall finally cleared her throat, "Harry I think this discussion is better suited to the living room, and, Hagrid, for Merlin's sake use Leo to owl Dumbledore!".

It wasn't until Professor McGonagall mentioned Leo that Harry even knew there was an owl in the room.

As Harry walked to the living room he felt uneasy. He was about to find out the truth of how his parents died and if were honest he was slightly worried that they'd died doing something wrong, which is why until now nobody who knew them had come looking for him.

Harry sat down in the chair he'd slept in and Professor McGonagall sat on the edge of the seat of the sofa.

"I don't know how much you've been told about the wizarding world" Professor McGonagall said, her hands folded tightly in her lap.

"Until last night nothing so if you could keep the answers simple thatwould be helpful"

"There is the wizarding world and the Muggle world. Your aunt and uncle are Muggles because they were born without magic" Probably McGonagall added when he looked confused at the word Muggle."But, sometimes Muggles produce a magical child just like your mother. Not everybody thinks that Muggleborn witches and wizards should be accepted into the wizarding world. It is something we have fought about for centuries" Professor McGonagall looked at Harry, making sure he'd understood everything she'd said so far.

When Harry nodded she continued."Not all wizards and witches are good, there was one who went as dark as you could go with no chance of ever turning back on the path he'd chose. His name was," shuddering slightly, McGonagall continued, "Voldemort, that is the last time I'll ever mention his name, we usually refer to him as He-Who-Must-Not-be Named. He started to gather followers, some joined him because they truly believed in what he stood for and others out of fear. He, together with his followers killed Muggleborns, Muggles, and anyone who stood with them. Nowhere and no one was safe from him or his followers. The ministry had almost fallen, those who were brave enough to fight him were being murdered daily. All hope of defeating him had been lost long ago. Then one day,like a dream people started saying he was gone. That he'd killed your parents and had tried to kill you, but he failed, leaving you with that scar," McGonagall said, pointing at the lightning shaped scar on his head.

"What you have to understand is that nobody lived when he decided to kill them, no one before have ever survived the killing curse, only you. You're the boy who lived, where countless fell," she said, almost breathing the last part in awe.

Harry saw Professor McGonagall wipe her eyes on her sleeve as if she were trying to pretend that she had something in her eyes.

"Why did I live? I mean what's so special about me?" Harry asked,trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

"No one knows why or how, only that you did. No one knows why he went to your parents that night" Professor McGonagall said, stretching out her hand to brush aside Harry's hair so she could see his scar.

She dropped her hand when she heard Hagrid's footsteps near the doorway. Hagrid waited a few minutes to allow Professor McGonagall to compose herself, he knew talking about Voldemort or anything to do with that time upset her greatly, although she'd never admit it.

"I think it's time we take Harry to see the genius who wanted him to stay with the Dursleys, Professor" Hagrid said."Yes, you're right". Professor McGonagall stood and up and walked over to the wall.

She pulled her wand out of her sleeve, placed the tip of her wand to the wall and muttered words that Harry couldn't of the wall disappeared and in its place was a fireplace.

"Right, I know you've never travelled by Floo before so I'll keep it take some Floo powder, throw it in the fire, stand in the fireplace, speak your destination clearly and, remember, it's best to keep your elbows tucked. I'll go first and show you"Professor McGonagall put her hand in a pot on top of the fireplace,grabbing a handful of powder. Dropping it into the fireplace, she stepped into the flames that had turned green, and said loudly, "Headmaster Dumbledore's office!"

"You go next Harry" Hagrid stuck his hand into the pot, threw in into the fireplace, stepped into the flames, and spluttered, "Headmaster Dumbledore's office!"

**********Line break*************

**So this chapter wasn't funny, but then again finding out your parents and alot people they knew isn't funny. But next chapter will be funny again.**

**Here's three hints for the next chapter:Draco Malfoy, Hedwig, A slap.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed and to everyone who has followed/favorited this story so far.**

**A massive thank you to my beta, pygmypuff8.**

**AN: First off I'd like to apologize for the lateness of chapter 4, I was ill and then I lost half the already written chapter so I had to start again. Secondly I know I promised Draco would be in this chapter, but he won't be nor will Hedwig, but next chapter they will be. Basically this is just a filler chapter to get back into writing it properly.**

**Chapter Four: A slap and Jelly.**

Harry stumbled out the fireplace, tripped and landed in a peculiar position. One arm in the air, one at side and his legs doing some sort of awkward splits.

He was glad of the years he'd spent practicing gymnastics because it had made him flexible and that was a good thing because otherwise the odd position he was in would be very painful.

The first thing he saw once he'd gotten up and dusted himself of, was Hagrid coming out of the fireplace. The second was Professor McGonagall standing next a man with a long white beard and twinkling blue didn't have to be a genius to figure out that this man was Dumbledore.

An awkward type of silence reigned over the room. It seemed as if the adults didn't know what to say exactly, but luckily for them Harry had a lot of things to say."I haven't eaten in what seems forever. I smell bad and I really need a change of clothes, so someone better start talking and stop wasting my time before I throw a hissy fit that will make all three of you wish you'd never been born!" Harry promised his arms folded across his chest. His words would have been comical if he didn't have such a serious expression on his face, causing the adults to swallow the laughter that would have normally bubbled up if any other eleven-year old said something like that to them.

"Well, let me start by introducing myself, my name is Albus Dumbledore and I am the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Dumbledore said, clearly expecting Harry to be in awe and wonder of him.

Harry walked over to Dumbledore, his face the picture of perfect innocence. Stopping in front of him, he lifted his hand, made as if he was going to shake Dumbledore's hand, then quickly raised his hand and slapped him across the face.

Professor McGonagall and Hagrid didn't know whether to applaud Harry's action or scold him. They settled on just observing silently for the time being.

"Well I feel a lot better after that" Harry declared, as Dumbledore clutched his bright red cheek in shock. "Slapping you was a birthday present to myself"

"Happy Birthday, but couldn't you have given yourself a gift that was less painful for me?" Dumbledore asked, frowning ferociously at the eleven-year old. Harry snorted, rolling his eyes "If you don't want to get slapped, don't leave an innocent, sweet child with awesome fashion sense with a family like the Dursleys" Dumbledore looked at Hagrid and McGonagall with raised eyebrows,silently asking them to explain what was going on.

Hagrid cleared his throat, and began "From what I gathered when I punished- I mean spoke to the Dursleys, they hate him. They never told him about magic or the truth about how his parents died. They are very against his sexuality and Harry himself told me they made him sleep in a cupboard until his first Hogwarts letter came!" Hagrid exclaimed, not being able ot hide his agitation at the thought of a child being treated like that, and it seemed to Dumbledore that some of that hostility was aimed at him.

"So to cut a very long and a probably really tragic story short, the Dursleys are horrible people, and Harry is no longer going to live with them" Professor McGonagall said, causing Harry to cheer very loudly.

"You can't just decide that!" Dumbledore said, trying vainly to ignore the almost glares that his colleagues were sending him.

"Listen here! He is not going back to those people and I swear to Merlin I will make your life unbearable if you try and make him. Now we are going to have some tea and biscuits and discuss where he is going to live until school starts," Professor McGonagall said, her voice final and challenging someone to argue with her.

Dumbledore thought about arguing with Professor McGonagall, but then he remembered how vicious the head of Gryffindor could be when she was annoyed, and he nodded his assent.

***********Line break**************

Harry sat nibbling on the edge of a biscuit while the adults discussed where he was going to live. He hoped that they decided soon because he really wanted a shower and a change of clothes. It was when Harry was half way through his biscuit that a thought occurred to him.

His aunt and uncle had lied to him about a lot of stuff so maybe they'd lied about his parents not leaving him anything. Harry wouldn't have put it pass them to steal his whole inheritance."I know that you're discussing my future and everything, but I have, a question," Harry said, gaining the attention of the adults in the room.

"Did my parents leave me anything, and if they did, who is in charge of what they left?"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Actually your parents left all their wealth to you and you're in charge of your own money. For some reason your parents didn't trust anyone to be charge of your money until you became an adult. Which is odd because I assured them I'd take care of it," Dumbledore told Harry, who was beginning to think his parents were very wise.

"So I have money and we're sitting here talking. We should be shopping like, right now!" Harry said, bouncing in his sit like a toddler who'd eaten too many sweets. Professor McGonagall looked as if she were going to protest that the details of the discussion she'd been having with Dumbledore and Hagrid was more important, but Harry got there first.

"Hagrid said I could live with him and considering he is the only one in the room that actually got off their butts and took me away from the Dursleys I'm going to live with him. Before anybody even thinks about interrupting me, I'd like to point out that none of you are my legal guardians. The Dursleys are and they'd be more than happy to get rid of me," Harry said really fast, wanting to get it all out before someone interrupted him. He wasn't going back to the Dursleys, no matter how much Dumbledore insisted he should,nor was he going to let himself get dumped on someone who might turn out to be even worse than the Dursleys. Besides, if you didn't take into account Hagird's size, he seemed like a huge softie, and Harry just really liked him.

"Well if the boy wants to live with Hagrid and Hagrid is fine with it then I see no problem" Professor McGonagall said.

"Hagrid's hut isn't big enough for Harry to live there!" Dumbledore argued, looking disgruntled at not being included in the decision making project. He really hated it when things didn't go his way and today they really weren't.

Professor McGonagall looked like she really wanted nothing more than to follow Harry's earlier example and slap Dumbledore."You know we can change the size of Hagrid's hut with magic so don't try using that as an excuse. Now, Mister Potter expressed earlier that he needed a wash and seeing as my quarters hasn't been sealed up for the summer holidays, he is more than welcome to take a bath before Hagrid takes him shopping"Harry nodded his head in response, feeling both amused and overwhelmed. Amused at Dumbledore looking like a petulant child and overwhelmed that someone would actually listen to what he wanted.

"Jelly!" Professor McGonagall shouted. Harry heard a pop and stared in amazement. In front of Professor McGonagall there stood what was perhaps the strangest creature Harry had ever seen. It's face was very tiny and it had a long, pointy nose, with grey-green skin stretched tightly over it. Attached to its head were two long, floppy ears, which reminded him so much of a rabbit that he had to stifle a laugh.

"Jelly, I'd like you to take Mister Potter to my quarters and show him to the bathroom, then would you find him some clothes please. Also, once he is washed and dressed will you bring him to back to this office where Hagrid will be waiting for him" Professor McGonagall ordered.

Jelly squeaked an affirmative at the Professor, then grabbed Harry's hand and gently tugged it so he'd follow her. As she pulled Harry through the corridors at a speed that amazed Harry; he wanted to ask to stop and take in the sights of Hogwarts and what exactly Jelly was but he didn't want to appear rude as Jelly was his only way back to Hagrid.

Professor McGonagall's bathroom was huge and beautiful. Harry could honestly say that his aunt Petunia would kill for a bathroom like bathtub was white and large,reminding Harry of a giant swimming pool. The bathroom tiles were red and gold with lions in the centre that roared at him as he walked past them. Harry so wanted to know what spell was used to make them do ran his bath for him even though he protested he that he was cable of doing it himself, adding bubble bath that smelt like jasmine.

She placed a fresh towel on the towel rack and then left to wait outside until Harry was finished. It wasn't until Harry had undressed and gotten in the bath that he remembered Jelly hadn't given him some clean was going to call out and ask Jelly for clean clothes, but he hesitated.

He wasn't shy, but that didn't mean he wanted something,he didn't even know what she was yet (he thinks it's a she) to see him in the nude. Yes, the bubbles covered his body but the thought of it made him feel uncomfortable.

As he let himself sink further into the water he put it out of his mind and told himself to make do with the clothes had. Soon he could buy as many clothes as wanted. Actually, once he began to think back to the conversation held in Dumbledore's office, he hadn't asked how much money there was or where his money was being kept.

In all his haste and excitement he hadn't asked those vitally important questions, he really needed to work on how easily he got distracted at times. But there was time for that later, after he had washed his for the shampoo, he found none, and he wondered if he was supposed to say a magic word for it to appear.

Looking around again, he heard a faint pop, and looking in the direction it came from, he saw a bottle of shampoo sitting between the taps, where a second ago there hadn't been anything. Swimming over to it, he squirted some into his hands before rubbing it into his hair. As he was rubbing it in, a heavenly smell overpowered his senses, and he almost moaned with how good it was good, for now.

*******Line Break********

Harry spent a grand total of forty minutes relaxing in the bath. When he got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around himself, he was surprised to find a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, underwear and socks waiting on the towel was sure Jelly hadn't left them earlier, but he was also sure no one else had brought him his clothes while he was in the his head, and giving it up to the one of the great mysteries of magic, he dried himself and dressed quickly in the magicalle appearing clothes.

After he got dressed, he wondered where he was going to get a hairbrush from. Biting his lip (something he did when was really thinking about something) he opened the door to find Jelly sitting outside, waiting patiently for him with a hairbrush clutched in her hand.

"I knew Mister Potter would want to brush his hair!" Jelly squeaked happily."Jelly, you're just a darling. If anybody ever says anything mean to you they will have to deal with me"

Harry declared, making Jelly grin like she had just received the greatest gift ever. Once Harry had brushed his hair, making sure it laid just so, Jelly grabbed his hand and once again began pulling him along with her.

How Jelly's legs moved so fast Harry would never know and he was just about able to keep up with her; not that he had much choice considering her grip was pretty tight around his hand.

He found the look of concentration and determination on her face just utterly adorable.

"Hey Jelly can we slow down a bit?" Harry asked after a while, beginning to pant heavily.

"Can't, Jelly has orders to take you back to office and to Hagrid quickly. Jelly a good House Elf, she follows orders!" Jelly squeaked determinedly dragging him on, and not paying any heed to his panting pleas to slow down.

When they finally got to Dumbledore's office Harry took a second to catch his breath as Jelly muttered the word "Candy Canes".

The door opened and Harry went inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A massive thank you to my readers and reviewers. A massive thank you to everybody who has favorited and who is following this story so far.**

**AN:So this has been not beta'ed because my beta cannot beta this story because of A very busy schedule so if anyone is interested in betaing this please PM me.**

**AN: Sorry for taking so long to update **

**Chapter Five: Part 1 Goblins and Draco. **

It took a few minutes for anyone to notice that Harry had walked into the room. Well Harry assumed they hadn't noticed because he didn't think Professor McGonagall would have used that type of language if she had known he was there.

He found it amusing when her face turned a shade of bright red when she heard Jelly clear her throat to let them know he was there. From the corner of his eye he saw Dumbledore rise from his seat, perfectly composed and looking unfazed by anything Professor McGonagall had said.

He couldn't see Hagrid in the room and he didn't like it one little bit. He started to frown and glare at Dumbledore over Hagrid's absence.

He didn't mind Professor McGonagall, but he didn't feel at ease with her the same way he did with Hagrid. He wasn't even going to lie himself and tell himself that he liked Dumbledore at all, because he didn't and the best part of meeting the man was slapping him.

"I am going to take a wild guess and say that Hagrid isn't here. Because he is too big to play hide and seek in here unless magic is involved. Is there a magical version of hide and seek?" Harry asked, he was babbling and he knew it but he couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth "If there isn't then I may invent a version of it. A version where you hide in a cupboard and don't get dust or cobwebs on your clothes, or a spider lands on you so you scream really"

"Mister Potter!, calm yourself. Hagrid will be back any moment" Professor McGonagall said, she was used to students babbling and now she practically immune to it "Jelly thank you, you can return to your normal duties now"

Jelly bowed and left the room with a pop was the only way Harry could describe the way she left. He would love to learn how she did it and vowed to ask Jelly when or if he saw her again.

He hoped that he would see her again and that next time he'd be able to navigate his way through Hogwarts on his own. Even though she was the strangest thing he'd ever met in his life so far she had this sort of energy and innocence that Harry found refreshing after years of living with the Dursleys.

As the minutes began to tick by all thoughts of Jelly were temporarily pushed to the back of his mind. He started to tap his foot, every minute that went by the tapping got faster and faster until Harry thought his foot might tap so fast it would separate from his body and run away.

He wanted to ask exactly where Hagrid had gone too and how much longer he'd be, but he knew he'd only begin rambling again and then it would get awkward. Plus he kind of didn't want to interrupt Professor McGonagall's glaring daggers at Dumbledore who was oblivious to the looks he was getting.

Maybe he was in denial?, he seemed the type to a have the denial sort of personality to Harry.

Denial about making a mistake leaving him with the Dursleys. In denial that the robes he was wearing were not fashionable ever.

So engrossed in his thoughts of Dumbledore being in denial Harry hadn't heard Hagrid enter the office.

In fact it wasn't until Hagrid asked "Are you ready Harry?" That Harry knew the giant was there and of course being so deep in thought the question made Harry jump out of skin.

"You made me jump Hagrid!. Never sneak up on me like that again, I beg you" Harry said, a hand rested against his chest and his voice slightly dramatic but what could Harry say he didn't like being snuck up on and even though it was his own fault for getting lost in thought he still didn't like it.

"I'm sorry, but you were day dreaming I think and its time to go shopping" Hagrid told him, in return Harry smiled to let know everything was still totally awesome between them.

"Yes, well while you're there you can pick up Harry's school supplies" Professor McGonagall said, it was better to get everything from clothes to school supplies done in one trip.

"Oh and while you are at Gringotts remember to pick up you know what" Dumbledore asked, in rather cheerful tone that made Harry sure what ever Hagrid was picking up was something that would result in something horrible for Harry in the future. He didn't know how he knew, he just knew it.

If it did Harry swore he'd make Dumbledore think the slap from earlier was like being caressed by a feather.

"Yes Headmaster," Hagrid said, like he was trying to restrain himself from throttling Dumbledore at the second in time. "Now Harry, we are going to use the Floo again to get where we need to go. So do the same as before, but instead of saying Dumbledore' office you need to say Diagon Alley" Harry was going to let out a groan about having to use the Floo again, but he thought Hagrid may take as disgruntled groan about going out so he stepped in the fireplace and did the same as before.

***********Line break***************

Harry landed much better than he had in Dumbledore's office when he came out to what looked like a very old fashioned pub.

Hagrid arrived seconds later and Harry was glad that he had because people were looking at him funny like they knew him, but didn't at the same time and it most unsettling.

"I think Gringotts first then we shall decide where to go to next!" Hagrid told Harry who nodded his head because nobody had explained what Gringotts was.

"So it is him, it's Harry Potter!," A man at the bar said, to Harry the man sounded surprised, thrilled and torn between disbelief and a hint of sadness.

Out of nowhere he had people coming over to shake his hand and welcome him back. Those who didn't come over where muttering something that Harry couldn't hear.

"That's enough, Harry needs to get his school things and some new clothes and well new everything actually" Hagrid's voice sounded gentle, but firm. People began to back away slowly and politely.

As they tried to leave a pale man who looked nervous tried to approach Harry, but with Hagrid now having a firm grip on Harry's shoulders steereď him through the pub and said "No time to stop Professor. We have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in".

The pale man stuttered "O-o-f cour-r-se,".

Hagrid led Harry out into a bricked up courtyard and Harry let out a sigh of relief, "Who was that man who tried to speak to me just then?," Harry asked, something seemed off about the man to him and he wanted to know more other than the man was Professor.

"That's Professor Quirrell he teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts, not that he will last long they never last more than a year. It's a shame really because he is such a nice man, a little bit odd since got back from abroad though!" Hagrid explained, looking slightly puzzled at to what could have changed the man he once knew to be not the most confident man in the world, but he wasn't a nervous wreck as he seemed to be now.

Harry didn't know what to say about Professor Quirrell that wouldn't sound horrible so he wisely decided to keep any comments about the man to himself.

"Now, Harry stand back and prepare to be amazed" Hagrid said, making Harry giggle slightly because reminded him of a magician he once watched on the television when the Dursleys were out.

Hagrid tapped the point of an umbrella up against the wall three times. At first nothing happened and Harry was disappointed, but then the brick shook slightly before it began to wriggle and then a small hole appeared. It grew larger and larger until the hole became an archway that even Hagrid was able to walk through with ease.

As Harry stepped through the arch and stared in amazement at how another world could just be hidden from view merely by a brick wall.

There were people walking past as if everything they were seeing was nothing speculator, but to him it was brilliant, wonderful and utterly amazing.

So caught up in Diagon Alley even though he taken less than ten steps into it that Harry didn't see the wall closing or Hagrid following him through.

He didn't see the look of amusement on Hagrid's face as he watched Harry stare, open mouthed at the people walking didn't think Harry even knew his mouth had opened.

Hagrid put a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder to snap him out of the daze of amazement he was in.

Harry shook his head a little, "Sorry Hagrid its just well if you think about it some people will never see this place, never walk its pavements or even know it exists. This place is like just a small part of amazing world that some will never experience and it is kind of surreal".

"Yes it is but we can ponder all that after we've been to Gringotts and gone shopping" Hagrid said, kindly and patiently. It's not that he didn't want to have a long discussion with Harry about how surreal it all must seem to him, but there were things to do.

"What is Gringotts?" Harry asked, curious about how the place fitted in to going shopping' and what Dumbledore wanted from there.

"It is a bank, one of the most secure places in wizarding Britain other than Hogwarts although the ministry would like to believe that they are the most secure building. Oh and Gringotts is run by Goblins" Hagrid told Harry whom's eyes went wide.

"That is so freaking awesome, I really want to see a Goblin!" Harry said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Not the friendliest of creatures Goblins, but then again the history between us and them is nasty to say the least" Hagrid explained, beginning to walk again with Harry at his side.

Harry was starting to get the feeling he'd be hearing a lot more about nasty history between a lot of different things and wizards.

From what he'd learnt so far is, they fought among themselves and fought with everything else at some point in time.

As they were walking Hagrid explained the difference between Muggle and Wizarding currency.

It seemed forever and no time at all that they reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Like the size of the building was a not so subtle way of saying "This building is more important than all the other buildings here".

Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was something that was a head shorter than Harry. He had a clever face, a pointed beard and Harry noticed that he (Well Harry thought it was a He) had very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they went inside.

"Is that a Goblin?" Harry asked in a whisper, as they approached a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them:Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed,

For those who take, but do not

earn, Must pay most dearly in their turn. So if you seek beneath our floors A treasure that was never yours, Thief, you have been warned, beware Of finding more than treasure there.

Underneath those words someone else had engraved: No one parties harder than Goblins.

"Yeah that's a Goblin," said Hagrid who was gently trying hurry Harry along.

They opened one door and walked through, were about a hundred or so goblins sitting on high tools behind a long counter.

Harry noticed they were each working on different things, writing in ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses.

Harry thought the goblins looked utterly cute in an odd sort of menacing way.

There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter.

"Excuse me, we're here to take some money out of Mister Potter's vault" Hagrid said to a free goblin who peered down to look at Harry.

"You have his key, Sir?"

"Yes its here somewhere" Hagrid chuckled as he emptied his pockets on the counter. Harry saw the goblin wrinkle his nose in disgust at the moldy dog biscuits scattered on his book of numbers.

"So from the dog biscuits I take you have dog?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Fang, he is a great big coward and drools a lot but he is gentle as they come" Hagrid couldn't help smiling as he talked about his dog. "Right got it"

Hagrid was holding up a tiny golden key that goblin looked at with his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"That seems to be in order."

"An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore, It's about the YouKnow-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen." Hagrid said, with a tone that this was really important.

The goblin read the letter carefully.

"Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have Someone take you down to both vaults Griphook!"

Griphook was yet another goblin and he gave Harry the feeling that he did not like Wizards.

Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall.

"What's the You-Know-What in

vault seven hundred and thirteen? and before you say you can't tell me I think I should warn you my puppy dog eyes are adorable and no one can say no to them " Harry told Hagrid, and to prove his point he started giving Hagrid puppy dog eyes.

"Yes well I can resist your puppy dog eyes and I can't tell you. If it were up to me I would, but Dumbledore doesn't want any students to know and as much as I currently dislike the man he is my employer" Hagrid said as walked through the Griphook held the door open, Harry followed suit.

Harry excepted to find more marble, but was surprised to find they were in a stone passageway that was lit with flaming torches.

The whole place creeped Harry out, he expected for something to jump out and eat him. He tried to tell himself that he was being ridiculous as he walked the steeply slope where there was little railway tracks at the end, but then he remembered that he was in a bank run by goblins.

Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them, Harry's eyes grew big as he stared at the cart.

There was no way he was getting in it, it looked to him as if were going to fall apart any second.

"Um Hagrid, I'm not trying to be difficult but there is no way I'm getting in that cart"

Griphook shot Harry look that was between yes you are and I'm not bothered whether you do or not.

"Harry you've go no choice its the only way to your vault. I understand that everything must seem new and strange right now, but I promise you I will do everything possible to make sure you're safe" Hagrid said, trying to be patient with Harry.

Harry gave a small grumble of fine and climbed into the cart, he kind of felt guilty for making a fuss when Hagrid was really trying to help him.

Hagrid climbed into the cart with some difficulty, followed Griphook who was in the front and then they were off.

At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry

tried to focus on not throwing up everywhere, there seriously had to be a better way to get to his vault. A way in which didn't involve him nearly throwing up and fearing for his life.

The rattling cart wasn't being steered by Griphook, it changed directions on its own like it instinctively knew where it was going.

Harry's eyes stung as the cold past them, but he kept them wide open. Partly because he was he wanted to see everything and partly because he'd seen enough horror movies to know whoever close their eyes even briefly were attacked by something horrible.

Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was adragon, but too late - - they plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor.

"I think we're going to die Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "Please tell me that Wizards don't travel everywhere with carts ?"

"No," said Hagrid. "An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Join the club" Harry said, to very green faced looking Hagrid

When the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling.

Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, "Well cover me in glitter and give me lip gloss" Harry said.

Inside were mounds of gold coins.

Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.

"All yours," Hagrid said with a smile.

Harry couldn't believe how much was there. Never had seen so much and he glad the Dursleys didn't know about this money because he didn't doubt they'd pinch the lot.

Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag. "The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o'.terms, we'll keep the rest safe for you." He turned to Griphook.

"Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?"

"One speed only," said Griphook.

"I bet he's lying" Harry muttered.

They were going even deeper now and gathering speed. The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine.

Vault seven hundred and thirteen had no keyhole.

"Stand back," Griphook said with an air of importance. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away.

"If anyone but a Gringotts goblin

tried that, they'd be sucked through

the door and trapped in there," .

"How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked.

"About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin.

"Well if try to break in here I'll make sure to bring plenty of food and drink" Harry said cheekily.

Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure, and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least -

but at first he thought it was empty.

Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor. Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat.

Harry really wanted to know what it was, but knew that Hagrid couldn't

"Come on, back in this infernal cart and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," Hagrid told Harry.

One wild and nauseating cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts. Harry had never been gladder for something to be over, well except the day when he was eight and his aunt Petunia had to much to drink and thought she could sing.

Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life more money than even Dudley had ever had.

"Might as well get your uniform,"

Hagrid said, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

"Harry, would you mind if I waited outside?," Hagrid asked, looking as if were going to throw up any minute.

"You'll be right outside right?, because I have no idea how to get around this place" Harry said, biting his bottom lip.

"Right outside, I promise"

So Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous.

Madam Malkin was dressed all in mauve"Hogwarts, Dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here - another young man being fitted up just now, in fact. "

In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes.

Harry thought the boy was cute, maybe one day dating material if the boy was gay and thought Harry was cute too.

Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool (next to him) slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length.

"Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?"

"Fortunately yes and unfortunately yes" Harry said.

"Why fortunately and unfortunately? "

"Well fortunately yes because going to Hogwarts is why I've met and Hagrid and why I won't have return to my aunt's and unce. Unfortunately because Dumbledore is there and I'll know he is going to keep trying to help me and his help is the reason my life has sucked. Well I really can't blame it all on him, I suppose Voldemort is partly to blame" Harry said, talking fast.

"Don't say his name!" the boy said giving Harry a terrified look.

"For someone as cute as you anything. My name's Harry Potter , what's yours?"

"I'm Draco Malfoy. So you're the boy who lived, you're diffrent than how imagined you'd be!" Draco said.

Harry smiled, "Well Draco I'm glad you imagined, but I have one question. Was I cute in your imagination?"

"You were I don't know, you were just different. Not sure how to explain it" Draco said, shrugging.

"I'm rubbish with explaining things, I always go off in it to a weird ramble. No idea why." Harry told Draco.

"How weird?" Draco asked, he was curious about Harry. He'd spent most of his life hearing his father refer to him as the brat who ended the Dark Lord, his mother once his father's back was turned always said it was a good thing.

"I once spent forty-five minutes rambling about how awesome it'd be apple and oranges were combined as one fruit in a science lesson, why the teacher let me talk for forty five minutes I have no idea"

"Science is what Muggles have instead of magic, right. Well thats what my cousin Nymphadora says, she's a half blood and my dad hates it when my mum has her ot aunt Andy in the house" Draco asked.

"I've known about magic less than twenty-four hours I'm not qualified to say yes or no, but I guess Muggles use science instead of magic" Harry told Draco who looked shocked that Harry had only known about magic for a very short time.

"That's you done, my dear,"

"Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, Harry," Draco said.

"Okay!" Harry said.

Harry got off the stall and went outside to find Hagrid outside as he'd promised.

"You okay?" Hagrid asked.

"I'm great, I met a really nice boy in the shop," Harry said.

**AN2: I didn't want Draco to be a spoilt jerk and I wanted Narcissa to still have Andromdea and Tonks in her life, its important for future chapters. **


End file.
